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Thursday 6 March 2014

Another Sample of Good Introductory Paragraph to Exposition Writing


Before: 
We agree that animal abuse is rampant in Singapore. In today’s society, pets seem to be taken for granted like water and are bought on impulse just because they have floppy ears or appeal to kids because they’re adorable. However, they know nothing about how hard it is to maintain them. Some pet owners do not take care of their pets properly as they think of pets like as if they are dolls for display . However, these pets are no different from living even if they are unable to communicate, they like humans that have emotions and can feel pain. Would you like it if you too were treated like a ragdoll, treated unjustly? Hence, this essay hopes to elucidate why animal abuse is rampant in Singapore.

After:
Treat others the way you want to be treated. That was what we were told ever since we were little kids, but how does this become relevant when we’re older? In today’s society, pets seem to be taken for granted like water and are bought on impulse just because they have floppy ears or appeal to kids because they’re adorable. However, they know nothing about how hard it is to maintain them. Some pet owners do not take care of their pets properly as they think of pets like as if they are dolls for display . However, these pets are no different from living human beings even if they are unable to communicate, they like humans have emotions and can feel pain. Would you like it if you too were treated like a ragdoll, treated unjustly? Thus, we strongly feel that animal abuse is rampant in singapore and hence, this essay hopes to elucidate why animal abuse is ever present in Singapore.



Comments:
Ms Lam: This is a clearly structured and organised Introductory paragraph to exposition writing. You have clearly and effectively used the hooks, mainly question, anecdotes, etc in crafting this introduction. Good. Pls share with the class. Well written.!

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